Lame Jokes October 10, 2008

In need of some lame-o jokes to use? Okay I’ve got some for you then.

• Why did the tomato turn red? Because he saw the salad dressing!
• Why did the chicken go to school? Because he’s a brat! (My little sister made that one up.)
• What time is it? Time for you to get a watch. -Classic I know.
• This one is pretty good. You say, I’ve got a great knock knock joke. But you have to start it. They say, Knock knock. You say, who’s there? And then they just stare at you looking dumb.
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Dwain. Dwain who? Dwain the bathtub I’m dwonding!
• The “made ya look” jokes are always classic too. Hey look! “There is a purple poka dotted elephant!” “Where?” “MADE YA LOOK!” -Annoying? I think yes.
• “Ask me if I’m a bush.” “Are you a bush?” “Yes. Now ask me if I’m a tree.” “Are you a tree?” “No, I just said I was a bush.”
• “Ask me if I’m a fire truck.” “Are you a firetruck?” “No.”
• “I can make you speak like an indian.” “How?”
• Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!
• Two muffins are in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Boy it’s hot in here.” The other, with a look of shock on his face screams, “AHHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!”

What about a few riddles?

• The person that makes this doesn’t need it. The person that buys it doesn’t want it and the person who uses this doesn’t know they have it. What is it?
• What runs around the yard all day and never moves?
• What kind of bow can’t you tie?
• There is a cabin in the middle of a forest full of 100 dead people. There is no way in or out of the forest. How did the people get there?
• My name is Sarah. How do you spell it?
• Does England have a 4th of July?
• How many birthdays does the average man have?

If you want the answers, you will have to ask.

~Gullible~ October 5, 2008

They took gullible out of the dictionary you know. Oh and it’s written on the ceiling again for some reason.

Unfortunately, I was known to fall for those back when I was younger. But now, I fall for the much more complex ones.

My sister had a friend named Justin. He pretty much always made fun of me in some way or another. Probably thinking I was some stupid girl or something. So one day, he asks me if I know his brother Jake. I didn’t. I’d never seen or heard of him before. So he says maybe if he showed me a picture I’d recognize him. They said he had a mullet. I didn’t really believe them until they showed me a picture of him with a  mullet. That was enough for me. So I started kind of watching out for a boy with a mullet in the hallways at school.  To no avail, however. So the next weekend when Justin was at our house, he asked again about his brother. Then he explained that Jake spends his time doing yoga during lunch. Now I’m thinking, what a weirdo! So I continue to watch for him. Still, I see nothing like the picture or description. AND I’m not about to go to the yoga room to see.

Maybe a month later, I’m talking to Sadie on the phone. And that’s when I find out, this boy is SO not real. I just happen to be so trusting of Sadie and Justin that I believe them whole-heartedly. Only to discover, I was being dumb! Jake actually is a football player for our school and has probably never done yoga in his life or grown his hair out passed his ears. I still never saw this Jake boy around anywhere until maybe three days into my Seminary class, I realize he is IN my class! So I went up and talked to him. Guess how he knew me? “Oh you are the gril that thought I had a mullet, huh?” “Yeah that was me.” “And the yoga thing during lunch too right?” “Yeah…” Then the bell rang and that’s pretty much all that’s ever been said on the subject. Now, he see’s me and thinks, that’s that dumb gullible girl that thought I had a mullet and believed my brother.