Merry Christmas! Or is it Happy Holidays? December 24, 2008

Hm. Well I’m NOT going to be politically correct so I’m going to just go with Merry Christmas. Seriously? How many people would be terribly offended if someone accidently wished them a Merry Christmas instead of a Happy Kwanza?  And Happy Holidays? Well that’s just a nice way of wishing everyone a “Happy whatever it is you celebrate.”  Why do people have to make a really big deal about everything that is so unimportant? OH MY GOSH! This turky has hormones! PROTEST! Or, GLOBAL WARMING! Okay. Where is the proof that there is actually global warming happening right now? It’s just stupid, money hungry scientist trying to get everyone’s money.  And I’m sorry to all of you who support those studpid, money hungry scientists. Think about it. The earth goes through cycles of cold and hot.  Right now, it’s going through a little hot cycle. NOT A HOT CYCLE! AHHHHH! EVERYONE RUN AWAY! Global warming is lame. And I’m not about to worry about that when I should be worrying about the homeless people and the starving children in Africa. Sorry, but that is just way more important than global warming.

This Christmas, I wish that everyone would stop worrying about the stupid things and worry about more important things like our fellow human beings.  Here is wishing a Merry Christmas to everyone everywhere!

Tips for Black Friday shopping November 27, 2008

So here are a few tips for going Black Friday shopping. Follow them like the Bible. For some of you… better than the Bible.

• Sleep is for the dead. (Stay up all night. It’s awesome!)
• Search the adds, find the best sales and pick the stores that will be the hottest.
• Find all the valuables fast and hide them around the store.
• Get items that are hot and let people pay you to get them. They will, they are desperate.
• No shopping carts. They just get in the way. Carry it all in your hands. Don’t be one of those crazy people pushing around two shopping carts.
• Grab everything you can get your hands on and decide if you want it later.
• Dress in layers. It’s cold when you wait in line. But when you get into that store, it’s hot. You’ll be running.
• Wear comfortable shoes. Waiting in the line for hours is killer.
• Be a people watcher. It’s hilarious what people will do to get the things they want.
• DO NOT butt in line. People will glare at you the whole time you are standing in line. Then they will get a security guard. That means no shopping for you!

Now you are a skilled Black Friday shopper. Good luck young padowans.